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 No matter how you use them, if you’re using them, you’re using them right.

Feeleez tools make it simple to support the children you care for.

Stack the cards in a tower, tell stories with the images, play charades! When you spend time together, use emotional vocabulary, and make eye-contact, you are doing wonders for emotional development.

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Feeleez Matching Game

Simple game play — makes it easy for parents to help their children process feelings without having to decipher complicated rules and instructions.

Hand-drawn images — are engaging for all kids, and ideal for kids on the Autism spectrum.

Expressive images — provide kids with an emotional bridge that allows them to offload festering emotions and build connection with caregivers.

Unlabeled images — make for open-ended conversations and allow children to connect with an image without worrying about “getting it wrong”.

Emotion-based play allows kids to receive emotional support, paving the way for advanced brain development, accelerated executive brain processing, and higher emotional intelligence

Image-based play makes the game accessible and enjoyable in any language

Diverse imagery — makes game inclusive and inviting to all cultures and genders

Sturdy, big pieces — makes emotional learning and processing available to even the youngest children

Soy-based ink — is good for the environment and safe for kids

 
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Let’s play the game with Kelly!

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Kelly overheard a person at school talking about her and saying “mean” things. She tried to be extra friendly to the girl during lunch, but she doesn’t think it worked because she wasn’t invited to play in the game at recess. Instead Kelly went back into the classroom and played by herself.

What makes matters worse is that there is a birthday party today and that particular girl is going to be there. Kelly is pretty sure everyone there hates her and she doesn’t want to go. Kelly’s Dad gets out the Feeleez game and spreads all the cards out. He invites Kelly to play a game of memory.

Kelly and her Dad spread all the cards out, face down.

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<—- They take turns flipping over two cards at a time, looking for pairs.

Kelly is the first to find a pair.

Dad: “What do you think that kid is feeling?”

Kelly: “He’s feeling brave and strong.”

Dad: “Oh? He’s feeling brave and strong? I wonder what was going on for him…”

Kelly: “Well, I think he’s not sure what it’s going to be like to go on the field trip, but he’s feeling brave about it.”

Dad: “I see.”

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Dad finds the next pair.

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Dad: “I found a pair! Oh wow. I think this person might be upset. It almost looks like she’s making fists and gritting her teeth.”

Kelly: “I think she’s super mad! Really, really mad!”

Dad: “Yeah, I’ve felt that way before. Have you ever felt this mad before?”

Kelly: “Oh yes! Remember when Alex threw my babydoll in the trash can? I felt so mad that day.”

Dad: “Oh yes, I do remember that. You felt so mad.”

Kelly: “I don’t like feeling that mad. It makes my head hurt.”

Dad: “I bet! That’s a really powerful feeling!”

Dad and Kelly continue to take turns.

Sometimes they find pairs and sometimes they don’t, but that’s ok. They continue to giggle, have fun, and talk about all the feelings they see on the cards. Dad makes sure to make lots of eye-contact and offer physical touch in the form of high fives and arm rubs so that Kelly feels safe expressing herself with him. He also let’s Kelly be the judge of what emotion each card is illustrating because there is no right or wrong answer when it comes to how she feels. Dad wants Kelly to tell him about her interpretation of each card because that will allow her to further develop her own emotional understanding and vocabulary.

Kelly finds her last pair.

When she picks up these cards, Kelly stares at them for a long time and her face becomes a little clouded.

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Kelly: “Dad? This is how I felt when I heard that girl saying those mean things about me.”

Dad: “Oh yeah? You felt like the illustration on this card?'“

Kelly: “Uh huh. Just like this.”

Dad: “What is that feeling like?”

Kelly: “It’s very sad and droopy. I wanted to cry.”

Dad: “Oh. I bet. Darn it. Do you feel like crying now?”

Kelly: “A little.”

Dad: “Want me to hold you a while?”

Kelly: “Yes please.”

Kelly climbs in Dad’s lap and cries really hard. Dad rubs her back and makes murmurs of understanding. He waits several minutes for her to get all of her tears out. Eventually Kelly lifts her head up.

Dad: “How do you feel now, honey?”

Kelly: “Still a little sad.”

Dad: “Yeah. That was really hard to hear her say those things, hunh?”

Kelly: “Yeah... Dad?”

Dad: “Unh-hunh?”

Kelly: “I love you.”

Dad: “I love you, too, sweetie.”

Kelly: “You know what? There are going to be lots of kids at the party. I’m still sad, but I don’t want to miss out on playing with them.”

Dad: “You’re right. There will be many many friends at the party.”

Kelly: “I’m ready to go!”

 

Now that Kelly has gotten love and support around her feelings, she has access to the part of her brain that thinks logically and optimistically. Kelly has developed some resiliency.

 
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Kelly

 
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Feeleez Poster

Hand-drawn images - are engaging for all kids, and ideal for kids on the Autism spectrum

Approachable faces - make it easy for parents and teachers to offer emotional support simply by hanging this poster in a convenient spot

Expressive images - provide kids with an emotional bridge that allows them to offload festering emotions and build connection with caregivers

Unlabeled images - make for open-ended conversations and allow children to connect with an image without worrying about “getting it wrong”

Diverse imagery - makes poster inclusive and inviting to all cultures and genders

Images without words - make the poster accessible and enjoyable in any language

Emotion-based decor - allows kids to receive emotional support, paving the way for advanced brain development, accelerated executive brain processing, and higher emotional intelligence

Soy-based ink - is good for the environment and safe for kids

Large size - makes images easy to see and interact with (22in X 28in)


Let’s use the poster with Fiona!

 

Fiona gets home from school and says: “I HAD A BAD DAY TODAY!”. She glares at her mom, kicks the dog, and shoves the snack her mom offers her onto the floor.

Her mom realizes Fiona is truly upset and remembers they need to sort through her feelings before Fiona will be able to hear feedback about her disagreeable actions.

Together they go to the Feeleez poster.

The poster is hung on a wall near where the family spends a lot of time. It’s within reach so that the kids can point to the images easily.

Mom: “Can you start from the beginning? What happened at school and how did you feel?”

Right away Fiona starts pointing and describing.

Fiona : (points to this image) “Well, when I first got to school I saw that we had a substitute teacher and I felt very nervous because I don’t know him at all.”   Mom : (nods with understanding)

Fiona: (points to this image) “Well, when I first got to school I saw that we had a substitute teacher and I felt very nervous because I don’t know him at all.”

Mom: (nods with understanding)

Fiona : “Then during reading time, I felt like  this , because Olivia whispered in my ear that her dog is cuter than our dog.”   Mom : “Oh. Shoot. You didn’t like that.”

Fiona: “Then during reading time, I felt like this, because Olivia whispered in my ear that her dog is cuter than our dog.”

Mom: “Oh. Shoot. You didn’t like that.”

Fiona : “And during recess, I felt like  this , because everyone wanted to play a game that I don’t like. I played by myself the whole time.”   Mom : “Darn it. Sounds like you might have felt lonely.””

Fiona: “And during recess, I felt like this, because everyone wanted to play a game that I don’t like. I played by myself the whole time.”

Mom: “Darn it. Sounds like you might have felt lonely.””

Fiona : “Then when I got home, Charlie-dog tripped me with his tail, and I couldn’t even hang my backpack up! So I felt like  this . Then I kicked him.”   Mom : “Ohhh. So that’s what was happening there. Geez. It sounds like you were really struggling.”

Fiona: “Then when I got home, Charlie-dog tripped me with his tail, and I couldn’t even hang my backpack up! So I felt like this. Then I kicked him.”

Mom: “Ohhh. So that’s what was happening there. Geez. It sounds like you were really struggling.”

Fiona : “Unh hunh. And Charlie yelped and I felt so bad. I felt like  this  when I heard him cry.”   Mom : “Oh yeah. I can understand that. You didn’t want to hurt him.”

Fiona: “Unh hunh. And Charlie yelped and I felt so bad. I felt like this when I heard him cry.”

Mom: “Oh yeah. I can understand that. You didn’t want to hurt him.”

Fiona : “Now… I still feel a little sad. Maybe not as sad as  this , but still kinda sad.”   Mom : “Sure, that makes sense. A lot happened today.

Fiona: “Now… I still feel a little sad. Maybe not as sad as this, but still kinda sad.”

Mom: “Sure, that makes sense. A lot happened today.

After listening to her whole story Mom asks Fiona what she needs.

Fiona says that a hug would really help, then after that maybe a snack. The two of them settle on the couch for a couple of minutes of snuggling. When Fiona starts to joke around, Mom knows Fiona is in the right brain state for some feedback.

Mom: “I know you were having a lot of feelings when you came home… but you’re right, I think it really did hurt Charlie when you kicked him… Next time you’re feeling that way would you be willing to come get some help instead of lashing out at the dog?”

Fiona: “I can do that. Poor Charlie.”

Mom: “You know what? I realize I handed you a snack without checking in with you about your feelings first. I suppose I hadn’t realized how upset you were. Next time I’ll be sure to tune in before moving you onto the next thing. But Fiona… I really didn’t like it when you knocked the snack onto the floor. Now the floor needs a sweep, and I’m pretty sure that snack can’t be eaten anymore… Next time, would you be willing to do something different? Even if you’re really mad?”

Fiona: “Yeah. What if we go to the poster right away? As soon as I get home!… I’m sorry Mom. I can help clean up...”

Mom and Fiona take their time reconnecting.

(It can take several minutes for upset brain chemistry to change!)

Eventually Fiona is feeling quite a bit better. She turns to her mom for one last hug and “I love you” before moving on to talk to the dog, Charlie, and clean up the snack.

Each time Fiona gets help with her feelings she develops stronger neuro-emotional habits. The more often this happens the fewer and shorter her upsets will be. Eventually, with good modeling like this, Fiona will be able to move through emotion easily and quickly all by herself.

 
Fiona

Fiona

 

Feeleez Emotional Spectrum Chart

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Feeleez Emotional Anatomy Chart

Our charts are designed to help you understand your child’s behavior and emotions, and to help you know how to respond in the most neuro-emotionally beneficial way.

Let’s use the chart with Patrick!

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Patrick feels mad at the boy who lives down the street. He’s getting so worked up that he starts calling the neighbor kid names like “idiot” and “dumbhead” while he storms around the house.

Patrick’s Grandma feels alarmed. She knows the boy down the street struggles and has very few friends. She wants Patrick to be kind to him and understanding. Then grabs her Feeleez Emotional Spectrum chart. She studies it and remembers that Patrick might be lashing out at others in a misguided attempt to feel better.

 

She starts listening carefully to his complaints and not contradicting him.

Patrick: “He was just making up his own rules as he went along! That’s not how the game works!”

Grandma: “Unh hunh. I can see you did not like that at all!”

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Patrick: “He just drives me crazy! He’s such an idiot.”

Grandma: “Wow. You seem really, really angry.”

Patrick: “I am! I just want the game to be fair.”

Grandma: “You sound like you feel very frustrated by how the game was going… Darn it.”

When Patrick gets close enough she places a calm hand on his arm. A few minutes pass and Patrick lets out a long sigh. His body is relaxed now and he leans in for a hug.

Grandma remembers the chart and senses he might have access to his executive brain now.

Grandma: “Do you think that neighbor boy was having a hard time today?”

Patrick nods and his face softens.

Patrick: “I think every day is hard for him Grandma.”

Grandma nods with understanding.

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Patrick: “Grandma? I’m going back out to see if he and I can start over.”

Because Patrick got support around his feelings, his neural processing has moved into the executive brain network. From here he can access his natural sense of compassion for others and act on that compassion. The more Grandma helps Patrick process his feelings the more he will be able to move up the emotional spectrum on his own, and act from a place of clear thinking and consideration.

 
Patrick

Patrick