Why learn about feelings?
- The Gateway Effect: A Parent's Crystal Ball
- Empathy: The Natural Apology
- Conflict Resolution: Pointing a Finger to avoid Pointing Fingers
- Self-Empathy: What About Me?
- Why Feeleez?
- What’s the answer?
The Gateway Effect: A Parent’s Crystal Ball
Feelings are a child’s gateway into the world and our window into their world. If a child identifies what they are feeling and describes it, they are likely to get their needs met. As parents we can usually identify the most obvious feelings and guess, often correctly, at what our child needs. But when feelings are less obvious and more subtle, it’s harder to guess and when we guess ‘wrong’, it makes matters worse. Imagine a little person saying “I feel worried” and you immediately feel your own heart melting with eagerness to help, as well as having many ideas for how to help. Imagine the same scenario and instead of saying anything the child screams, hits, and falls to the floor. Feeling worry without being able to articulate it can look like this. As a parent, you are likely to feel frustrated and incapable of meeting your child’s needs because you have no idea what your kid is actually feeling.
Empathy: The Natural Apology
Knowing their own feelings allows kids to recognize those feelings occurring for other people. A child that knows what ‘angry’ feels like will recognize it when someone else is angry. This is the beginning of empathy. A child well versed in the language of feelings won’t need prompting and will want to share or say sorry because they, having identified the sad emotions of the other child, will already be feeling empathy and will act in an empathetic way. Empathy is the basis for all peaceful interactions. Empathy is the foundation for compassion, which is essential for a well functioning community, whether that is the community of your own home or society at large.
Empathy is a vital component of emotional intelligence (also called EQ). The early years of a child’s life are critical for fostering emotional intelligence because healthy EQ establishes a vital foundation that serves them throughout their lives. High EQ is now considered to be equally if not more important than intellectual ability (IQ) in predicting success in jobs and relationships, and overall satisfaction with life.
Conflict Resolution: Pointing a Finger to avoid Pointing Fingers
For young children, those not able to verbalize feelings, and those at any moment choosing not to articulate with words, identification of a feeling can happen by merely pointing a finger at a Feeleez image or holding a Feeleez card. This is empowering. Finding a mirror of their own feeling eases suffering and feels deeply satisfying. To be understood by the people that are most important to them has an intensely calming effect. This is, in fact, a crucial human need. Often a conflict can be resolved quickly and painlessly by simply letting each child claim the Feeleez kid they identify with. With an understanding of what each person is feeling, conflict shifts and a solution is easily found.
Self-Empathy: What About Me?
Self-empathy can be a powerful tool for both children and adults. Taking a moment, in the heat of things, to connect with yourself and accept whatever you are feeling can lighten the emotional load considerably. Parents that take the time to empathize with themselves will parent better, because they will be calm enough to avoid lashing out and reacting inappropriately to their children. When we are connected with ourselves, we will act in ways that are fulfilling to us and most helpful to our children. By modeling this, children will learn how to stay in tune with their own feelings which is crucial for being in healthy relationship with others.
Why Feeleez?
When children use Feeleez, at the most basic level, several things will happen:
- the child spends time considering what feelings are
- the child learns new feeling vocabulary
- the child notices his own feelings more
- the child is able to express her feelings
In addition:
- Children relate to Feeleez and genuinely love playing with them.
- Feeleez are sustainably produced and responsibly made using recycled cardboard, reusable tins, and soy-based ink.
- Feeleez are designed by three parents who value meaningful play and care about the quality of materials available to children.
What’s the answer?
Individual Feeleez have not been given labels on purpose. We have offered a list of suggestions to get you started. We have found that when a label is present children that can read (and parents!) spend their time memorizing the right answer instead of exploring their understanding of the feeling. Leaving a number of the images ambiguous leaves room for kids to let you know what goes on in their minds and hearts, what they actually feel.